i finished A-Levels, and now undergraduate.. searching wat goin to study nx....

actually 1st im planning to go wif chemical engineering but wen im goin apply.. parents heard n told me chem eng. hard to find jobs and the Uni i picked not famous enuf... AND they suggest to take Actuarial Science...

haiz... wat should i do? however they still wan me to say it, "i wan to take Actuarial Science"  but still, actually im not very sure wat i like to study... and they cant help me anything thou coz they oso dono wat actuarial science is afterall!!! and tis is wat im goin through these daysss... n starting to drivin me NUTS!!!

thn ytd(sat), i had car accident.. again!!! wat the fuck... ok, don rush... juz a minor n super minor accident... juz tat i reverse side parking n the car behind me coming out.. but i din notice his hon sound and only, only scratch a not deep line...  its totally my fault... everything seem under control so far

but the thing is, told parents.. they only mad at me but nvr say something like "don be so careless nx time" "more concentrate nx time"... doesnt them should be more teaching n less blame n mad at me... some more normally 1 will b scolding n 1 should b comfort me? mayb i think too much, there is no such thing in my life anyway... o should i say "never been"

ya, i should find somebody to talk to... n i realize tat... not everybody like 'kaka' can listen to some1 n comfort at the same time... i hate it i cant find any1 like tat in coll. ... every1 there like only care bout themselves... how can u say "juz like me wat, i oso blablabla" wen ppl deadly emo n mad? should like "everything will be ok" "be more concentrate ma" "don think too much, go get a drink n sleep" luckily everytime i had bad incident.. got 'kaka' to talk to n giv some perfect advice... XD...

i dono wats wrong wif me lah.. dono y i keep trying to make my coll. friends mad at me.. haiz... they r not the 1 i use to noe... everything juz seem so difficult between us... however, wen i wan to talk bout edu, tat mayb they can help... they juz seem not tat helpful anymore... every1 seem don hv direction, whenever i trying to discuss edu stuff together, they juz walk away... haiz.... watever lah!!!

all things happened is so troublesome... but for some ppl thinks... "if u don so sensitive about everything n focus on something u really should think about... actually its not troublesome at all... but only u making yrself miserable now" > rite.... so i decided... to change.. change my attitude, my personality.. its hard but i noe i can do it!!!

1st, think more positive all the time, thn don so sensitive... n some1 says "try not to let ppl take advantages from u"

ofcoz, stick wif the mode/mood 'whatever'

lolzzz

today go swimming loh, realize my stamina is not good as last time... joints damn painful, made headache... today is virtually waste of time...

thn v decided to watch movie loh, since "iron man" starts on scene today... n no1 expect tis coming leads to no earlier booking... 1st luckily, some1 said he ask his cousin who in 'tat' shopping complex buy ticket for us, n tot can watch iron man tonite.. n he successfully bought it!!! XD

at arrival, he called his cousin coz not seeing him around... realize tat actually some1 misunderstood!!! ticket was bought but at different shopping complex... very wise huh??  v in sunway piramid n the other side at the curve...   so the watching movie thing "cook soup" edi...

at tat instant, i actually wana go home edi, honestly... haiz.. they say goin to cc woh~~~  go to feed ppl meh??? diu, mahai!  starting damn mm song jor~ somemore sit at the air-con-less spot... ntg to say edi loh... the fire like burning at the side...  thn kept feeding ppl loh, wat to do? no mood + noob skill + blur blur choosing hero myself oso dono how to use 1... tats my doom lah!! normally friends suggest me wat hero to use n keep cheering me... but now like playing for myself... FUCK!!!

now u noe wats waste of time rite?  don make yrself suffer n make ppl happy edi lah.. its not fun AT ALL!!!   i juz wish i can learn to say "NO"!!!  everytime folo wat ppl plan on...  tats not fun as u think wen u r incharge...

p/s: thx to kc who nid to pay all the 'watch-less' movie ticket n the cc fee...

my hs is renovating.. and the air condition is really bad... as in, u can breath normally outdoor but once step in, u can feel yr whole way to lungs is scratching... thn every breathing u can feel the dust particles colliding at yr throat...

not tat i don wan to help my family to take care the renovation... is juz tat exam is coming in 2weeks, n im really freaking out... how do i study in tis kind of environment???

friend offer me to live in his hs for tis moment, ofcoz he got his advantages lah... dono wat will my parents think bout me... i think i juz go n ask lah~~

its been long time b4 3rd sem.. in tis few months is juz study play study play... looks peaceful.. but actually something happened.. somehow juz cant forget juz like tat.. however i hope i really learn my lesson tis time, i wont allow myself get into such situation anymore...

actually i don like her since long time ago, i juz cant stand the friend i trusted nvr honest to me... feeling being tricked.. juz like the time at form5... haiz... i din let the lesson to guide my future, end up like a fool...

im not a good actor, juz cant hide my feelings from face.. so i choose tat week for a 'emotional' week.. juz to release stress...  i warn my friends not to cross the line.. since im too soft everytime, they think im kidding...  great!!   i really pissed off tat time he kacau me.. haha~~ its quite fun to do it sometime... lolz...

anyway, i get better... juz tat, theres always hv a scar after a recovery from wound...

now, my house is renovating... cannot continue sleeping after 9pm, omg!!!  somemore air condition is VERY bad... haiz... not feeling well every morning..

but final(determining) exam is coming!!!  how possible can i concentrate on my study like tis??? the only way is to go college study everyday... haiz... mafan leh~~~  im trying to convince parents to let me leaving in hostel in tis duration...  haiz..

plus, my annoying brother... how old is he? 18!! hey brada! u can assume to be ADULT after yr bday,  n u r still acting like a baby.. pls lah, don open mouth call ppl to die n tot violence can solve any problem... grow up!!!  ok lah, at least say something tat ever through yr big brain... action after consideration!!!

all of tis be the reason im pissing off these days...  feeling really hard man..  somehow, i really dono wat to do sometimes... 

and these day i think n think... the bad things i had in tis 3 years, made me feel i cant trust any1 beside ah leong... haha... at least his the only can giv me a wise reply n keep secret...  but he is not around yet..  life is even harder wen no 1 can share bitter wif u....